She’s happier with me then she ever was with me…I wish I could die…that I would never wake up…that everything would end because I can’t live without her and she acts like we meant nothing…I just want to die…
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I hear about his struggle. How he feels like he can’t live, doesn’t want to without her. He drinks, he bleeds, and he fights to get her back. It kills me to see him in so much pain yet at the same time I wish I could be as honest as he is.
My life doesn’t allow me to drink till I can’t think. I don’t have the guts to take the knife to my skin, though that may change. I broke it once but I didn’t draw blood…and I can’t fight for someone who doesn’t want me. So I’m stuck pretending like none of the pain exists. Wishing for something, I’m not good enough to have.
The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get.